My Dash!!

Hello random visistors. You have landed in an unknown zone! Please sit back and relax. This is the journey of my life. It started on a cold morning on November 21st, at 3:33 a.m. I dont know when its going to end or how long I have left. But I once read somewhere that the beginning or the end were not important. When you die and the dates are put on your tombstone to remember you, what will really matter is the dash between your date of birth and your death because that ’s what people are going to remember. How do you wanna spend your dash? I dont know how I wanna spend my dash yet. I am still looking, searching for myself, and I will invite you to look and search with me. It took me 24 years of existence, experience and studying to finally realize that the corporate world was not for me. After finishing highschool, I went to a business school in Boston and graduated magna cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in Finance. I had dreams of tapping into the Investment Banking world. I was already seeing myself being one of those prominent bankers on Wall-Street who have an 80hour/week and I thought that would make me happy. I have always been very ambitious, you will give me that. At 6, I thought I would be the UN secretary when I grow up, but the business world and the thirst for money, the greed of getting bigger and richer would destroy that dream. I beleived in the corporate world, I beleived in jumping the corporate ladder, I beleived in being a shark and doing whatever was necessary to jump that ladder and be at the top. I beleived in business without friendship or emotions. Waoww! It took me 4 years of college and two years of Grad school to realize that I hated the corporate World.

Corporate world , a cold place! A so cold place that all your degrees, papers, homework and everything that you’ve accomplished in college could not keep you warm. Cold because it is a harsh world. Cold because you have a 9-5 where you make an entity known as a corporation richer, the top people being further at the top and the people at the bottom just keep going further down. And this is the world I beleived in, the world I wanted to conquer and that I was so proud of being part of. Yes, business school makes you that type of person. For 4 years, they program you to be the number one Bullcrapper in each and every situation! They kill every emotion you once felt and make you a corporate robot. One who would be programmed to deliver whatever Mister Corporation wanted. Mister Corporation is the one I’ve learned to revere and serve during my 4 years of undergrad. I learned that the most important thing, actually the only thing worthwile was to increase shareholder’s value and that was only doable by slaving more and more for Mister Corporation. Now, when Mr Corporation is happy, he will certainly give you bonuses, sometimes a bigger paycheck but at the end of the day, whose happiness is more important? Yours or Mr Corporation’s happiness?

I am far from being the girl I used to be. Today, I beleive in so may different things, I have so many hopes and dreams I never thought I’d ever have. Today, I am a woman, a wife and a hijabee. I want to be closer to Allah and that is my main goal. I started wearing the hijab not too long ago and I am still adjusting to my new life as a hijabee. At the same time, I couldn’t be happier to be closer to Allah and to keep on learning and improving on a daily basis. I don’t wanna spend my dash to be the best business woman I can be. I have different priorities now. I want to spend my dash to strive for Jannah. I want to be a better wife, a better muslimah, a better person to this world. There are so many things I need to be working on. There are so many new things I aspire to do. This is just the beginning…..So sit back and relax! The journey just began!