Just for Fun

Here are some actual label instructions
on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while
sleeping. ( and that's the only time
I have to work on my hair ?).

On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a
winner! No purchase necessary.Details
inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions:
Use like regular soap." (and that would
be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's
"just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on
bottom): "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread
Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do
not iron clothes on body." (but
wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough
Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We
could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just
get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May
cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights:
"For indoor or outdoor use only." (as
opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor: "Not
to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm
a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)


On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company.
I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw:"Do not
attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (..was there a lot of
this happening somewhere?)