Thoughts on Motherhood

"By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class." -- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Someone once said that the moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new... As ironic as it might sound, I couldn't disagree more. I don't think the mother is born at the moment the child is born. When Sumaya was born, I knew I was her mother because every woman who gives birth to a child is called a mother, but truth be told, I was just a woman with a baby nothing more, nothing less.



Giving birth was supposed to be the hard part, I sort of knew that but I was so under prepared for postpartum. Everyone said expect to lose sleep, so I expected that. What I didn't expect was the complete and total surrender to a tiny creature and her needs. The pediatrician gave me a book about the baby's first year, the hospital gave me a booklet for new moms and I spent days reading them. I tried to remember what I read, I tried the techniques,and finally I realized I needed to listen to Sumaya. I didn't need to read all those books, what was important was to learn to read her.



Once I understood that, I spent the next few weeks paying closer attention to her, her cues,her needs,her cries, and so on and I learn more than I could ever dream to learn from a book, the books make great coasters though. It is amazing that babies are born and know exactly what to do. There is a natural instinct for the child to look for the breast right after she's born and feed. It is the same instinct that is present in animals which allows a mother bear to know when her cub is in trouble and defends it with her life. People have that same ability, and scientists say it's stronger in mothers. 'They say that it is safer for a mother to sleep in bed with her child than the father. The mother instinctively knows where that child is and won't roll on it.'




So when does one become a mother? Is it the moment of conception? The first time you hear your baby's heart beat? When you're in labor, screaming your lungs out? When you hold your baby for the first time? Different women will give different answers to this question. I do believe however that giving birth doesn't make a woman a mother. Anyone with a uterus can give birth, it takes more time to be a mother. There has to be a defining moment when maybe you couldn't take your baby's cries anymore, when she holds your finger in her tiny little hand, when she gives you that look, or smile, when she's sick or aching, when she goes to school for the first time, when she makes you worry, happy, sad, mad or any other emotion that you felt at that moment, that's the moment, the moment that you realize that you're not just a woman with a child, you are a mother. It's the moment you realize that nothing matters more than the safety and happiness of your child. That's when you become a mother.



Yes there is a moment when a a child is born, the mother is not born yet. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new..Something that's younger than the child it bore......